What love is not torment when a man knows not how to love himself? Talk not of drowning, but attaining your heart's desire by action: Put money in thy purse. - Christopher Moore
Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter. - Christopher Moore
Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place. - Christopher Moore
The Beta Male is seldom the strongest or the fastest, but because he can anticipate danger, he far outnumbers his Alpha Male competition. The world is led by Alpha Males, but the machinery of the world turns on the bearings of the Beta Male. - Christopher Moore
There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin. - Christopher Moore
Fuckstockings! - Christopher Moore
You're trying to be tricky. What's morality?""It's the difference between what's right and what you can rationalize.""Must be a human thing.""Exactly. - Christopher Moore
Science, you don't know, looks like magic. - Christopher Moore
Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong. - Christopher Moore